EMPATHS IN RELATIONSHIP
How are empaths different?
A hallmark of an empath is their depth and breadth of feeling, which makes them excellent partners, friends, parents. They tend to be highly sensitized to emotions and exceptionally tuned into the needs/feelings of others.
Empaths can be like the “barometer” in the room, in the relationship or the family. They take on the emotional colour of others around them. You will often hear them say things such as: “how you feel affects how I feel”, and “the way I feel should impact the way you feel”.
Empaths in relationships are often faced with a dilemma:
Either settle for a relationship that lacks the depth and emotional connection you crave and desire or stand up, speak your mind and strike out on your own.
I’m going to teach you how to stay in your relationship and fully embrace your gifts and celebrate you and your partner’s differences.
A Conversation between Julie and Dan
Dan: “She’s so darn sensitive! So “precious”, I can’t say anything without hurting her feelings.”
Julie: “Unbelievable! He never cares that my feelings are real and legitimate!”
Dan: “I feel like I’m constantly walking on eggshells and if I make one single comment that she doesn’t like, I’ll never hear the end of it and will be paying all weekend.”
Julie: “I go out of my way and make huge efforts to explain what I’m feeling and what’s going on in a calm way, without blaming, and he thinks I’m attacking him!”
Dan: “I’m doing my best! What more does she want from me? I feel like the more I bend over backwards, the more I do everything wrong.”
Julie: “He gets defensive and then shuts me out and punishes me for 3 days! I feel so dismissed, belittled, and sooo alone!”
Dan: “She’s always hurt, ha! What about my feelings? I’m never good enough, even when I rub her back, make dinner, and work hard at my job. She just has another meltdown and I’ll never see the end of it. Why can’t she just appreciate all that I do?”
Julie: “I can’t believe he says I don’t appreciate him! He’s the one who pushes me away and does not value me!”
Does this sound familiar?
I see couple after couple come into my office expressing this experience of disconnection, frustration, of being misunderstood, and alone.
Many of them feel that it’s gotten to the point where they it’s eroding their love, their family and their partnership.
Sound familiar?
If you or your partner is an empath, you might be experiencing something similar in your relationship.
There are a lot of challenges that Julie and Dan face that have them feeling stuck. One of the main ones that I know you can identify with is that someone in this partnership is an empath, and the other is less sensitive. Ultimately, they’re speaking different languages.
Julia expects Dan to meet her at the depth of feeling and emotion that is normal to her. When her message isn’t received, she becomes bitterly disappointed and resentful, she feels abandoned and dismissed. Dan lives under her constant disappointment and hurt and is mystified by her reactions.
Yet, Julie and Dan love each other deeply and desire to be together, except when this pattern, with all its wounding, resurfaces.
Let me show you what's possible:
Let me show you what’s possible:
One of the things Julie and Dan needed to learn that it was possible for them to work as a team, to learn how to get past the mexican standoff and truly appreciate their complementarity.
I’ll teach you to:
Connect with your inner compass (be your authentic selves) so that you can learn how to bring your empathic nature to your relationship.
How to navigate (and learn from) your partner’s sensitivity to cultivate partnership and intimacy and tenderness.
How to honour, appreciate and enjoy your complementarity as a couple so that you can fall in love with each other every day.
How to repair your relationship after rifts and upsets so that you feel cherished and supported by one another.
Day-to-day relationship tools to navigate obstacles, differences so that you become pros as cultivating connection and happy moments together.
Interested in working together? Let's talk.
Gabrielle Taylor - Psychotherapist & Relationship Coach
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